Your mom can fit 3 people inside her comfortably!
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.
The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.
You can get cereal without nuts.
It tastes better with jam.
One has parents
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
I don't have a stamp collection.
You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook
Gullibility
One is a bar-room and the other is a BAROOOM!
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!
Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder.
One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
The spelling.
What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... "Get Hard"
They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen
Well, one is filled with cows. And the other is in Asia.
A book has papers.
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person
One of them is a big puss
You can tune a chainsaw.
You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there
Well, you can sleep with a light on.
Cancer came back
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.
One is a cunning runt.
A teabag stays in the cup longer
Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.
One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs.
Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.
A knife has a point.
One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views. And the other group is ISIS.
When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.
One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough.
One is a runt with a cache.
A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.
Sesame Street has an Oscar.
Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.
A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.
You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.
At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.
What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail
A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.
An aircondtior can be hot
You can't milk a cow for 14 years.
I don't know I just fly the drones
The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.
Both of em are in plastic, except for the adjustable spanner
An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.
The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut.
The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."
One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son.
One of them gets taken in every once in a while.
Nothing. Either way someone is going to lose a trailer
Only one shows an interest in the balls.
David Lee Roth was in Van Halen Snoop Lion was in a van in halen
Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.
Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper
The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine.
CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.
A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants.
Your lawn won't cut itself.
The location of the dirtbag.
How hard you squeeze it.
When you leave yogurt alone it grows a culture!
A large pizza can feed a family.
You can punch information into a computer.
A Southern Zoo has a description of the animal on the cage along with a recipe.
Christians pay for their sins
Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.
If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.
One is black and hairy and the other is a coconut
Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.
The shoe has a sole
Spit, Swallow and Gargle.
In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk.
One you sit on and the other is a park bench.
You can't make matter.
One's a bunch of cunning runts.....
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows Yeah, I know it's old....
Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?
I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna What about the pot of glue reddit will ask. Hahahahaha I knew you'd get stuck there
One's a tragic Mick...
One dollar
The Boston Marathon Bombing ended a race.
One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...
The horse knows when I'm grooming him.
The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"
2 years of marriage.
Snowballs.
One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.
is funny and is a joke!
One is a hollow cylinder and the other a silly Hollander. Source (Cause I can't claim fame for Victorian era jokes):
Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.
Whats the difference between OP and a magical ram? One is a Fey Goat, while the other is a .
A major difference.
Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
Really
It varies from person to person.
He was a little pail.
Look at her beaver.
Steak
Joan of Ark
They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.
A frickin' American. What'd you expect, something racist
Fur traders.
Fur traders!
Strait out of cotton
A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.
Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.
they taste funny!
