This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Deer nuts are under a buck.
Some adults like lawyers.
Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.
An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it.
50 pounds.
One of his legs is the same.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
One of them has a good driver.
About 7 beers.
Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.
Looking for a lost golf ball is a hunt on a course.
The spelling Teehee
Santa stops after 3 Ho's
You might get your baby back off a pitbull.
Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.
Jesus didn't have a bunch of tattoos of a Mexican...
Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.
The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs.
A bull smiles when you milk it.
Cancer can get jobs
One is a bunch of Cunning Stunts
What is the difference between a introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer? An introverted engineer looks at his feet when he talks to you. An extroverted engineer looks at YOUR feet when he talks to you!
One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes lines.
I genuinely care about your mother.
A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.
Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"
I can maintain polite conversation.
One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.
A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.
One less drunk.
CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."
A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.
There's none. They both have big hearts but a short reach.
A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.
People in Dubai don't watch the Flinstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.
A tree has limbs.
One's a fruit, you idiot.
To make a difference.
spit, sallow, and gargle.
Falconers have to be more talon-ted
The attorney charges more.
One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
Their Punch.
One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!
Hardware breaks if you maintain it.
Nothing, because either way, someone is losing their trailer.
One has hope in her soul...
A bike because a vest has no sleeves.
When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.
One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater.
When the train announces an arriving "Station", you can see it.
If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!
A hematologist pricks fingers.
They both moan when you nail them, but only one of them actually enjoys it.
I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.
A BMW's pricks are on the inside!
Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window
A job application.
A Trailer park has much more interesting drama and less than a third of those pesky white teeth.
Jesus doesn't have a bunch of Mexicans tattooed all over himself.
At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit
6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.
I don't have a mercedes in my garage!
On a steampunk bike the gears don't do anything.
A church bell peals from the steeple.
Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...
You won't find a Lambo in a landfill.
A calendar has dates.
The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive
Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)
Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered." Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."
One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.
One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.
One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon
Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards.
One is a cunning array of stunts.
Batman can go into a store without robin....
A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.
You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.
In christianity, one guy died for all the others.
The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.
One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.
Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him.
A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies
The midget geniuses are cunning runts.
The football player
The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.
Vodka does not freeze
Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...
one is a superhero and the other is a command.
There's only one Bender in Futurama
A computer only has to have information punched into it once.
Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!
Because the prices are so steep
The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)
I don't have a watermelon in my garage.
Because they are planted in the spring!
Because it Lubri-Can't Even!
I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.
A major difference.
Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special.
Someone to merc him shut up.
That's the punchline. Comment with the lead up and may the best one win.
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
Ryan Locht-up
Small medium at large
Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.
Because then the children have to play inside.
