Happen Jokes

What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's happening!?

Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country?

Simple, you get stoned twice

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What happened to the tyrannical peach?

He got impeached!

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What happens when an elephant sits on a car?

It breaks the trunk.

When did this happen ?

a) I don't know he also stole my watch.

What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?

It's Bill Withers.

What happened when the Italian chef died?

He pasta away

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.

What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon?

He Ran Solo...

What happened to the guy who cooled himself to -273.15 C?

He was 0K.

What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head?

It knocked him cold.

How many republicans does it take to fix a problem?

No one knows. It's never happened.

What happens when two smurfs are in love?

They smuck

What happened to me?

Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution.

What happened when the host of Dirty Jobs said hello to a friend that was fairly far away?

Microwave.

What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out?

He saw stars.

What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room?

You get a solid-state frizzicist.

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

What happened when the cannibal showed up to the buffet late?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

What happens if you upset a cannibal?

You get into hot water.

What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy?

He was sent to the udder side

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What happens when you inject human DNA into a goat?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes?

I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.

What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?

He died in agony !

What happened to the Oklahoma Territories?

I don't know but they're OK now.

What happens when the man shakes?

The windows milk shake!

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

What happened to the pimp who ate too much Italian food?

He got Pasta-toots.

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

What would happen if the BLM people became white lives matter?

They would finally be right.

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

What happens after it rains in gotham city?

a waynebow.

What happens when two pastries divorce?

They have a custardy battle

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door?

Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific 4: No reason.

What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

He died in his teepee

What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl?

They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium)

What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

What happens when the fog clears in California?

UCLA

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ?

Pupil : It's stolen !

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops?

Justin Bieber gets jealous.

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

A: Fell through the cracks.

What would happen if the Earth was a Cube?

We'd all be cubans. I'm sorry

What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ?

It eggs-plodes !

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?

First it goes ping then it goes pong.

What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear?

You suffer from pickled hearing!

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes?

It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped.

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?

He cracked up.

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile?

IDK, i'm just a banana.

What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals ?

He went down really well !

What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party?

He got the cold shoulder.

What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires?

You would get severe frostbite.

What happened to the man running in front of a car?

He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted.

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?

The cat ate her.

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?

You can hear a cough drop.

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

Sheeran

What happens if a pyramid commits a crime?

It is put in imPRISMment!

What happened when the man lost his suspenders?

He became one of those For Whom the Belt Holds

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

What happens when a guy with no legs dies?

He punches the bucket

How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It will happen itself.

What happened to Kim Jong?

He was ill.

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.

What happens when you zip up a lion?

It rars

What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch.

This joke may have profanity.

Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

What happened when a whore house caught on fire?

Some came out running, others ran out coming.

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when you give a politician viagra?

He gets taller

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?

He gets taller

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when batman takes viagra?

The dark knight rises

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when someone overdoses on Viagra?

They die hard.

This joke may have profanity.

What happened to the NSFW warning on r/Jokes?

It stopped working like all those who got caught on reddit at work.

This joke may have profanity.

What will happen if you went inside a black hole?

I don't know either. It must be out-of-this-world.

What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What happens when you seduce a cow?

You get milk.

What happens when a cow jumps over barbed wire?

Udder destruction!

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

This joke may have profanity.

What happened when Mr. Loin got knighted?

He became Sir Loin

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Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat that's guilty of infidelity?

A cheetah

How do you know a cat is ready to leave?

He makes a fe-line for the door.

Proceed Jokes More Proceed Jokes

What do the Irish do after winning the world cup?

They proceed to Chapter 9: The Dark Mark

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball?

You look quite put-together this evening.

What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years?

The balls drop.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country has the most people?

Brazil... They've got Brazillions

What's Mexico's national sport?

Cross country

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

How is a woman like KFC?

After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call a man who jokes that women always make mountains out of molehills?

An ambulance.

How many redditors does it take to repost a joke?

About four.