because he was kneaded.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Financial Ayyyyyyd I'll
Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.
Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.
The Antelopes.
Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.
Bro sure!
This is not a drill!"
They know how to tuck away junk.
Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.
As if she's going to lay there and be swayed by some new buck.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!
For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.
Send them to a concentration camp!
SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)
Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
An account-ant.
Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.
They just can't help themselves.
Help! I'm melting!
I don't know
Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.
For the watch..
Because Satan has more politicians to help him.
Because there's nothing wong with it.
Water. It helps them get high.
He gets her Dawn.
I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.
A paracetamole!
Send it a byte. Kind of lame but I couldn't help myself.
Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out...
somebody help plz I need help on kindergarten project
A tooter. (thanks, honey)
Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.
Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.
I D K"
To help the firemen find the hydrants
I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!
Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.
A stand up driver.
Many hands make light work.
My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.
Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.
Not much, but you can't help but crack a smile when see some tumbling down the stairs.
pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people
I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.
A retail store.
He was in The Nile
Brexit
A: Carry loaded weapons.
One clothes please!
I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU
PP Up.
Nah brah, tadah brah!
Because they're stuck up
Because they're so basic.
I would like to help with house #7.
A herring aid !
Lemon-aid.
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions
5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.
Toothpaste.
Give them a hand !
Because they never listen.
She was shouting for help.
I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
M and a tiny mute in your tuna sandwich screaming for help? One melts in your mouth, one mouths in your melt.
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Help! My pocket's been picked!
Help, I think I'm in glove".
A: Luters.
He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.
Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List !" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
He wanted to double his prophets.
With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course
Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."
Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!
They can be very "clothes"-minded about the problem.
Who took them Why aren't we helping to find them
I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...
An elf driving car
I can't help it I'm hooked.
With dog diskettes!
A: Because she didn't want to go.
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Dumbbelldor.
It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.
Help me! I've been a-salted!
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
You do the math"
He thought it would help him with his hit detection.
Because they really wanted a third's eye view!
A: When you help an old lemon across the street.
I think I could use a Han here.
Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.
WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.
Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!
A'szzzz
Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.
Haydn seek.
They'll turn it into a bombardeer
Antelope!
He thought he was melting.
Because it's yellow and settles on their land too. And it melts snow.
He had a fear of commitment
nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D
Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.
Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect
